Sunday, July 31, 2011

If...and When

What is the most important things to you right this very minute? Without really taking time to think would you be able to rattle off three things that were the most important to you? I can probably assume that you would not say my computer, my Blackberry, and my car. Are you being honest? While I like to think that you would answer in a more humanistic caring way we all know that family and friends top the list at #1 and #2 and #3 is probably a bit more of personal nature. While those are the politically correct answers that everyone wants to hear but are they really, I mean come on, are they really your most important things to you right now? I don't think that if there are other things more important to you than family and friends you would admit to it. Why? Because it would make you look bad to other people as if you weren't caring or loving enough. But in all honesty, there are people out there who are materialistic and who do not put family or friends at the top of their internal lists. I think that they would put money up there, their status within the circle they associate (even if they are friends with them...), and their place on the corporate ladder. The kind of car they drive, the style of clothes they wear, the restaurants they frequent, the pool or beach clubs they join or are part of, who their kids play with are all other contenders on the top three list.

I have known a few of these kind of people over the years. I think we have all known people like this, maybe you are one! Despite what they would put on their top 3 list I know that I am happier than all of them. I don't think that money buys happiness. As a matter of fact there are a lot of people I know who have a lot more money than I and are not happier. Yes, they have a bigger house, nicer cars, better clothes, frequent their hair stylist routinely, eat out frequently but they are not happier. What are they missing? They fill their life with things that are trying to fill some other void. They are looking for validation for their life. I recently heard or read something somewhere (I am a big reader) that many people look at their house as a reflection of their success in life. Almost as if it is an award they bought to show off to other people (of whom they either don't know or don't care about) what they have. I wonder if they ever thought about "us other people" not caring what they have? I wonder how they would react if we were face to face and they asked this question and I responded "I don't care". What would they do? I just wonder. Money and acquiring material things is supposed to impress people but, while I do admire their homes, I don't care. I feel sad for them because somewhere something in their life was sacrificed. Maybe they were not there for their kids...or their spouse...or their parents. They invested all their time in their career that they missed what life was giving them the entire time and when they realize it, often, it is too late to get that time back.

I like to look at my life as a series of checks and balances. I am always taking inventory of what is really important to me today. When tomorrow comes, I reassess what is important to me today. Each day the important things differ slightly but for the most part it is who I have in my life and who I am supposed to be here for are the important things of the day. While I want my career reestablished and I would love to be contributing to my family financially, what I am giving to my family right now does not have a price tag on it. Time is of no value because there is only one. You can't buy more time. You can't make up time. You can't replace what once was. You just have to focus on each minute of each day and make sure you are happy with that moment. Women have a hard time readjusting their priorities when life hits like a brick wall. That is me. I still struggle with giving up a piece of me for my life now but I know I am young enough to establish a career later on but old enough to have wisdom to proceed successfully. I know what to look for and I know who to avoid.

If...and when my life is to change I hope that I am equipped enough to keep the balance that I have worked hard to achieve with my family. I believe that I am a good person (I know I am) and I pray that good things will come my way as I proceed with caution.

Thank you for visiting stranger friends! I appreciate your looking!

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