Mail Art

Luckily I've stumbled upon a unique group of people (primarily women) who consider themselves Mail Artists. I've never heard of such a group or idea until I came across the name of a book in a calligraphy catalog I order from. The book was called Good Mail Day and under the description gave the website. Hmmm....since I am a curious person I decided to check it out. The front of the book was intriguing and colorful so, why not! The website isn't as enticing as the book cover but that didn't stop me from clicking on every tab and reading every inch of the site. Then, I came upon "the list". A growing list of curious and obviously artistically talented people who have gathered together to exchange addresses and share their art with perfect strangers from around the world. Wow! People really DO write to each other. An amazing thought because in today's day and age technology is the method of choice for reasons that best fit our lifestyle! Imagine...people actually sitting down and taking time to create some unique piece of art to give to someone they don't know and will probably never ever meet. What a nice thought to want to do for a stranger. I mean really. Today most people won't even hold the door for  you  never mind take an hour out of their time to make something for YOU! I find this idea somewhat archaic but very impressive. What I think about this group of people is that they seem to be very sincere, honest, caring, individualistic, interesting people to want to do for complete strangers. That's an idea something out of the history books...doing something for others. We are all on this fast paced life that there is not enough time in the day to take care of the bare necessities never mind think about doing something for someone you don't even know. Fascinating! I have to say that the "strangers" I have met on the Internet and across the country have been some of the nicest most caring people I have ever met! No lie. The common red thread that brings us together are the forums that we are attracted to. Granted there are a gazillion different forums out there to tap into but what I like and am interested in in the world brings me to the home/garden/art/craft bracket. I like those blogs I have joined and the conversations I have had through them. I like the honesty that women share about their ideas and beliefs about life. It makes you feel a little less alone when you have to deal with things in your own life. I am not that confident to put all myself out there on the Internet for the world to see but what I do share I think others can connect to. Many of the women I have met are also spiritual in some form. Which makes me think deeper in that spirituality is one thread that has brought me to some blogs and sites and not the denomination of the spirituality. There is a general sense of the "common good of all people" despite what greater being is prayed to. I like that. People really do see the good in other people and judgements aren't usually made. If judgements are made there is a nice little button to the right of the keyboard called "delete".

I have sent out pieces of my own mail art and have also received some pieces of mail art. The mail art I have completed so far has been directed to family out across the country and not really to the nice strangers on "the list". However, I have connected with some strangers on "the list" of which I have received some nice pieces. Funny, when you get art in the mail you treat it as such. You don't tear open the envelope like a regular bill or magazine subscription request. You carefully get a knife and find the best least destructive way in. My collection of art pieces is on my inspiration wall. The second thing about these art pieces is that they were received on the most appropriate of days. Sometimes walking to that mailbox is like wearing lead boots but on these particular days walking back to the house I felt like I was walking on a bed of helium balloons. Excited! No doubt! Curious? Absolutely! I love what I have received and am every so grateful for those people who gave me their time. What a gift!

Most recently I received a beautiful piece of art and to my utter surprise a long, long personal letter detailing her life. I felt like I knew her right away and someone who I connected with immediately. I connected with this "stranger friend" by what she said and how she sees things in the world. Several times I had to stop and think. Along with a hand typed letter (yes, on a real typewriter) two other pieces of writing were sent. I also enjoyed this because not only did this person give me her time in the form of a long letter, time to create an envelope, but also time to send additional reading pieces. Wow! There are people out there who really extend them self out almost as if they are reaching out to shake your hand. What else could I do but respond back accordingly. I followed the lead of her letter and added my personal detours. I hope she enjoys my response as much as I enjoyed her unexpected letter and art. I like learning about people but in this day and age caution seems to be the first reaction to meeting people. I am happy to have stumbled upon such a really great group of people who care enough to share their work with complete strangers and feel pride because they know they are going to make someones day no matter what. I really like that.

Go ahead and make something out of paper or not. Slap an address of a person, friend, or family member you know on there and I can guarantee that they will be more than happy to receive your art. No matter how good or bad YOU THINK IT IS to someone on the receiving end it doesn't matter. I am sure they will think the way I think in that someone gave you their time and that is all that matters!!

Happy Writing Mail Artists!!!

Spirituality and Ice Cream!

Yup, neither has to do with the other but those are what are on my mind tonight. Yup, again, I like ice cream and just finished a little bowl of Moose Tracks with extra chocolate sauce on top! Not a huge bowl but considering that I should not have eaten it to begin with I guess the bowl was too big! I deserved it though because so far this week I've run 8 miles...about 4 miles each day. This is week two on my treadmill that was a combined gift from my husband that included my birthday, Valentine's Day, Anniversary, and Christmas. I rarely wear jewelry and appreciate gifts that are more practical in nature or something that I can enjoy over time like new plants for my gardens or going on a day trip. So the treadmill was my "big" gift last year. I have used it but the last couple weeks I have taken up running again for many reasons. I like running but thinking about running, yuck. I dread the first 20 minutes but after that I am good to go for a while. Anywho...I deserved the ice cream tonight!

Can you be spiritual and not believe in a higher being? Can someone really not believe? I just picked up a book called Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge. Books have a way of finding me and me not finding them. A blogger out there of whom I admire because of her honesty recommended this book. She attended a bible study group and it had to do with this book. Meandering around my small town library today I bumped into this book. I completely forgot about it and there it was on the shelf almost jumping out to me. Weird, I know but several times before books have called out to me. I hope to post these book recommendations because they have all been learning experiences for me (and could maybe for you)! Needless to say I checked out the book hoping it was as moving as this blogger said it would be. I put it in the trunk of my car and went on with my day without thinking about it again until evening set in.

The days work is done and now it is night and all you can see outside is the darkness of the night, the light of the lightening bugs, and not much else. The sounds of the dark woods fill the space in my ears. I sat down and opened the book. The introduction gripped my attention. Chapter 1 kept my attention and then I came across a line that I reflected on last night "you're not good enough" and the author proceeded to discuss her quest to understand what it really means to be a woman. How do the dots connect so well sometimes I simply do not know. Sometimes (like now) I feel uneasy that such similarities come together at such keen times and it makes me stop and think about what I was to take from all this. OK, so I made it to page 2 of the book and have enough to throw out there and I have been stopped in my tracks (again!). I am looking forward to reading this book to see where this journey takes me and how the author sees the world of a woman. Now, I need to find out! Let the reading begin!

Being Held Back

This blog is evolving into something that I didn't really want it to be...it is like my online journal of thoughts navigating my way through life. Yes, I like to write but never made a career out of it. I like to reflect and improve things but never made a career out of this either. If anyone has said that adults know everything they are completely wrong. Some days I feel like I know less and feel less confident in myself than I did when I was much younger. In the younger days there was a naivety about life, time, accomplishments, dreams, goals, careers and everything in between. I feared less and tackled more than I do now which should not be the case. I wonder why I have evolved away from that independence that I once prided myself on. I was able to face things (situations, interactions etc) head strong and walk away that I did my best. Not so much anymore. I wonder. Am I just getting tired of life? Has life had is way with me that what was so important to me then that I just don't carry that same value? Maybe I am just tired of thinking! I am a thinker. I am a reflector. I am an over analyzer and get stuck. I know that I get stuck and have a hard time getting going or making things happen. And I sit here and wonder why? A doctorate student I once knew said to me "you cannot life your life in fear" and he proceeded to move onto his next career. Fear seems to have enveloped me and someone forgot to tell me that the sticky strip was licked and sealed shut. Sometimes that is what I see. But on the flip side I am very optimistic about life and going forward. As I wrote before I have hope and always believe that the next thing will be better. I see life as a series of stepping stones many of which I don't know why I needed to place my foot there but I had. I get it sometimes, other times I don't. I am not one who can just settle with "just because" and need to know the answers and how the answer was arrived at.

I am overcoming worry. Daily worry. I was never a worrier in my life. Yah, I worried about writing a good paper, getting a good grade, keeping my friends but the life worry that I tackle each day is hard. I would have deemed myself a perfect fit to the 60's but I have become quite conservative as a person. Most people I know "lighten up" as they get older but not me!

Fear. Where the heck does fear come from? And let me tell you it is complicated and not easy to understand. I recently read on a blog "what if all your fears came true" I was stopped in my shoes and had to stop, really stop, and think about it. I hate what if questions but this one...stopped me. What if my fears came true? My response to this question is that some fears have come true and, honestly, you feel lost and confused and you have no idea what to do. It is the stuckness that I referred to. I also think that the state of the country and the economy is a black cloud that is hovering over many people including moi! I purposely don't turn on the news because listening to the stock market go down, that the teachers are made the enemy, schools are closing, gas prices are rising...all subliminal negativity that I can just live without.

So. What is holding me back? Back from what you ask? Hmm, I don't know. Am I even being held back or am I moving forward at a pace that has been designed by a greater being to help me see the world more clearly, with greater attention, focus, and care? No matter what, I am moving forward, it is just hard to see sometimes. There are many things in my day that I just love and appreciate.

I am going to just leave this piece or post hanging just to leave the brain working a little bit more!

You're Not Good Enough...Hearts in Nature

You're Not Good Enough...Hearts of Love

Have you ever been told that you were "not good enough" by someone? Was it recent or in times past? Was it by someone you knew or just getting to know? Was it by someone with whom you held in high regard or someone you didn't really like? Was this person male or female? An -ex? Did it have to do with a personal situation or a professional one?

Have you been told more than once that you were "not good enough"?

How devastating! Having someone {regardless of who "they" are} utter those words to you rips through your soul faster than an E5 tornado! I bet you didn't forget that moment in time when you felt like time stood still and you really needed to pinch yourself into thinking that what was going on wasn't really happening to you...but it was. I bet you can tell the details of that moment: who you were with, where you were, what you were wearing, the time of day, the song on the radio, where you were going...Those moments are the absolute worst moments in someone's life! They are unforgetable! If you are an endearing person you probably have been in more than one frozen in time moments where your whole soul is rattled to the core.

These moments really grip you, they hold you prisoner as you try to take one step at a time and walk away but you feel like you are wearing lead boots with super glue on the bottom! Then you stop and think and you question "what just happened? what really just happened?" You walk away in confusion trying to process the words "you're not good enough". What comes next? Tears? Anger? Frustration? Or are you so shocked that you are shaken into silence? A silence that can only be assumed by others that something bad happened but yet you cannot compose yourself enough to form the words to say what just happened. You stand confused not knowing what to do, what to say, who to turn to, and how to react to the news. "Not good enough" hurts regardless of the details of the situation because to a normal person the reaction is the same...pain. If you are the kind of person that feels the pain I sense that you are a good person to begin with. Those who don't feel that pain when hearing those words "you're not good enough" lack empathy {I think}.

Then...what do you do? You've come to realize that ideas that you thought were...really aren't, your perception of how things are to be...aren't, the values that you hold on to...have been challenged. What do you do? You hold on tight to those ringing words "you're not good enough" forever despite the fact that you don't ever want to remember them, read them, or say them ever again in your life...those words hold on to you tighter than glue. Letting go is not an option. These words come to define you as a person. They hold the roadmap to where you are going and recall where you have been. They imprison you and hold you captive to THAT moment in time.

How do you get over it? How do you heal? How do you take steps to move forward by leaving these words in the past? What actions are needed? What is the Life Lesson that you were meant to learn from such a defining moment in your life? Where do you go from here? All these questions invade your thought process over and over and over again. You try to escape. You try to move on. But as you try these words have altered you so dramatically that you realize you will never be the same person again because of these words. This saddens you.

Then one day someone says to you "get over it will you!" I don't know what is worse to hear "you're not good enough" or "get over it". Your emotions don't know where their safe place is anymore and you begin to doubt everything and everyone you come into contact with. You begin to question who you can trust, how much you should let out, and who you should let in. Your defenses are up all because of these words, four words that when put together, devastate, alter, manipulate those parts of you that you deemed untouchable. You have been challenged. Your soul has been challenged. You are now left to pick up the pieces of You but the pieces don't fit the same way they once did.

How long does it take to pick yourself up and put yourself back together again? Really, how long? Honestly, I don't think that you were ever supposed to forget about what happened to you when these words "you're not good enough" were spoken to you. I don't think that forgiveness is necessary. I don't believe in forgiveness. To me forgiveness gives permission to the other party for doing you wrong and you are left to deal. Forgiveness allows the other party power in what they did to you and defines you as the victim. "I forgive you" to me means that I am letting you treat me the way you want and I have no voice. I struggle with the word forgiveness.

When you have been told these words and they impact you in such a powerful dramatic way, you have now been granted permission to go on a journey. The journey of self discovery. The journey of new growth. The journey of the unknown. It is scary. The roadmap that you were once following is no longer so now you have to start over. Is it a bad thing to be forced into starting over? You are now on a journey to clarify your life and redefine your being. Birth a new soul. It is possible but not easy. Those unexposed, secret core values that you store in you own Pandora's Box is where you go. They will help lead you but it takes time. Sometimes a long, long time but they will help you through the life of such damaging, redefining words "you're not good enough". You can NOT allow the other party to judge you and hold this judgement over you for the rest of your life. Time, energy, thoughts must be filled with beautiful things that bring you joy and happiness.

If you look around in nature there is a lot of love which is where I got the title Hearts in Nature. There are a lot of hearts in nature. One day after learning about some news of a friend I went for a walk to reflect on this news and the more I looked around the more I saw hearts, lots of them! So, no matter how hard life can be and if you are someone who has had a life gripping, self-altering moment of being told "you're not good enough" take a walk and see if you can find any love in nature. I bet with clear thought and a keen eye you will be able to find your own love out there in places you least expect. Upon your return you will feel lighter and touched in a way only you and nature share! So, go ahead, go for that walk and find nature's treasures of love!

The Grey Bathroom - A Project Dilema

I have a bathroom! It needs help! The walls are white, the tiles are white with a subtle grey pattern, the fixtures are grey. Grey! I need some inspiration and make some changes. Here are some pictures I came across with some ideas I can pull from and apply to my own space, however, my bathroom will never look like any of these no matter how much I try but enjoy the ride!

All Things...Paper?

Sometimes friends are better than family and strangers are better than friends!

What? How dare I? Have you ever heard of the phrase "snail mail"? What comes to mind something from the "olden days"? Something from way-back-when? Something way before YOUR time? There is definitely a negative connotation to snail mail or regular mail. Yup, the kind that actually uses some form of paper and requires a stamp, a trip through the post office, man power, and ultimately delivery to your neighbor, across the country, or beyond. I have been luckily enough to stumble upon a group of artists who pride themselves on creating unique artistic pieces of mail for others to enjoy. The others I refer to are complete strangers! What? Can these people be trusted? Who are they? In the world of technology where almost anything can be found out about almost anyone or anything and the thought of "can we trust them" crosses our mind seems ludicrous. These artists are a unique breed of which I have joined.

However, this isn't ra-heally what I wanted to write about when I thought of this title! Go figure...off on a tangent sometimes. (I tend to do that because I like details. The more details I know the better image I can create in my head!) Anyway, I come to realize something about myself...I like paper!Looking back I have always liked paper for different reasons. I am a tactile person in some ways but in other ways I am not. There are things out there that I do not like to touch and I do not like them on my hands...hand lotion for one! But, I like to feel paper! I like to hold a book, a magazine, a bookmark. I like to feel the quality and texture of the paper. Needless to say I also have a lot of paper around the house in lots of forms. One form that is not around my house is wallpaper. Eww...I guess because my house is small and it just would not fit despite the print or pattern. Oh well. Paper it is. I have collections of magazines I cannot throw out (even duplicate copies cannot be tossed!). I have lots of note cards, tags, craft supplies, articles, books, newspaper clippings, cookbooks, recipe cards, stickie notes, calendars, construction paper, reminders, receipts...you name it it is probably somewhere around here. However, I am not a hoarder nor do I consider myself a pack rat or clutterer. I just have paper around me. The thought came over me "what if I got rid of every single piece of paper I own"...an incomprehensible thought that I can NOT get around my mind.

More and more I see people reading from their Kindle and I don't know how they do it! I need to hold the book, I need to feel the pages, I need to cross-reference parts and reread parts that require further contemplation, I need to fold over the pages so I don't get lost, I need to feel the weight of the book even if it is a 99cent paperback...I just need paper. Odd? I am not sure. I just find it comforting to be able to fulfill my tactile need while educating myself of the material ON the paper! This brings me back to my introduction to mail artists. Since I am a paper fanatic I am pleased that I have found a group of people who are also into paper. They, however, have kicked it up a notch by sharing their skills and talents with strangers no less in paper form. While it is challenging to find the time to do a good quality piece to send to a friendly stranger who shares the same interest there is nothing like opening your mailbox to find a treasured piece from a stranger who gave you their time because they like what they do. In this day and age it is rare to find people who really want to give you the time of day never mind take the time to create a unique piece of art (and write a letter!) and mail it to you! For this weird oddity or as I like to call them -isms I am happy that I have an avenue to share my paper with of which I know it will be appreciated!

Happy Summer 2011!

It's the birth of something new! We all can breath a little easier because we think that the summer is a time to slow down and relax a bit. Well, it is! All the anticipation all spring (and even winter) for the summer to come and it is here, today, June 21! So, what is your plan for the next 2 1/2 months? What comes to mind when you think of summer? What is your most favorite part of the summer?

There are many things that I like about summer that naming my favorite is impossible! This is what I love and will appreciate the next couple of months:

• longer days & sunshine
• leaves on the trees
• lighter, easier clothes
• the smell of freshness in the air
• dew on the lawn when the sun just comes up
• being outside
• leaving the windows open at night
• or better yet, opening the windows!
• bare feet
• fresh array of nail polish - sherbet, watermelon, reds, pinks...
• flowers
• bees
• hummingbirds
• outdoor fireplace
• walks after dinner
• sunsets
• rain storms after a long hot day
• the beach (I can't believe this is here and not at the top!)
• sand
• unplanned adventures
• ice cream stops
• Del's
• the smell of fresh cut grass
• rainbows
• vacations
• hiking
• walks
• picnics
• gathering shells, rocks, wood on the beach
• sounds of nature at night
• the owl
• grilled food
• tomato basil salad
• corn on the cob
• mojitos
• flip flops
• NOT the bathingsuit (surprised?)
• shorts
• summer reading
• flower gardens

So, while I reminisce about my summer....stop and take a moment for yourself about your summer!

(all photos are the property of Color of Inspiration)

It's Raining...Again!

Yes, I am at a loss for posting ideas tonight! It has been a trying week not because anything "major" happened but a gazillion little things happened! I don't know about you but all the little things added up = a "major"! They are exhausting to say the least! So I thought I would share my little annoyances that bothered me this week...I am sure you don't want to hear it but, yes, it's raining...again!

Yup, rainy weather is here today! People often talk (or complain) about the northwest being wet I can't say New England is perfect. We get a lot of water in all forms mind you! With the water we get we also get "other" things...mosquitoes! Yup, those big nasty ones that just will keep coming at you like there is no tomorrow! The bug spray has arrived! I like to address these pesky visitors naturally but sometimes they declare war and the spray needs to pay a visit (DEET free!).

A hornet entered the premises as I was replacing the kitchen chairs to the table after washing the floor...to this day I don't know where he went but he was the size of a humming bird! He either declared truce and found his own resting spot or somehow escaped, I am not sure!

There was a spider in the curtain (a big ugly one!); ants (we've had a little problem this spring!); the raccoons enjoyed their meal from our garbage cans and trace evidence was strewn all over; my car window was accidentally left open during the night while it down poured; three hours was spent on the phone on Monday only to get a call on Tuesday that those three hours were all-for-naught; I went to replace a light bulb for the deck light, I reached in only to learn that bees have created a beautiful nest; the light bulb rolled off the banister and shattered into a million pieces in a place that will require moving multiple items; I discovered creamed, rotten, solidified milk in the fridge; was NOT able to locate a music CD for my husband; the birds enjoyed all my nice organically grown strawberries before I could pick them; the tractor ran out of gas; received a letter of "increased rates"; received an email of "overdue books" (this has NEVER happened!); made it to the train station bike trail only to have it downpour once the car was parked; battled a migraine for two days; ...........and the saga continues! I think you get the gist of my week. It was an exhausting week dealing with all these time consuming annoyances. There are more but I am tired of reliving the week in a post. I am hoping that with the start of the weekend I will be able to relax and enjoy time with my best friend!

I end this post with three pictures I took earlier in the spring. I am very connected to nature and find peace and comfort with the beauty that is around me. Since it was such a long week I needed some cheerful pictures to make the post not seem depressing!

Have a happy and wonderful weekend!

Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk...

I've come to realize that humor isn't dripping through my posts. I guess I am a serious person but I do have a sense of humor as well. So, you want to know about the title of this post? Why else would you be this far into reading my musing today? Anyway, yes, I spilled some milk and this is how I found out!

A couple three weeks ago I had purchased a half gallon milk container and stored it on the bottom shelf of my refrigerator like usual. An hour later I went back into the fridge only to find a pile of milk on the shelf itself! What? Are you kidding me? Milk!? So, I cleaned up the pile and put the milk upright on the top shelf. No more problems. Not sure what I was thinking how this could have happened, I didn't think any more about the milk, problem solved!

Today. Today happened. OK, in and out of the fridge for a variety of reasons, milk for coffee, eggs for breakfast, bread for a sandwich, ice water...you get the gist! (sniff. sniff.) Looked around the half empty fridge to see what was "left over" from weeks past...nothing. OK, maybe it was me. A couple hours later ice water was needed (sniff. sniff.). What? What is that smell? I look around again and again there was nothing that could cause the aroma. As I was preparing for dinner, again, it was required I enter the fridge. (sniff. sniff.) You have got to be kidding me! I don't know what is wrong! Is it the eggs? NO. Is it the cauliflower? NO.

I was now on a mission! I took everything out and inspected the contents. Nothing was out of line. I could not figure it out. I pulled out the produce drawers, inspected, all looked well.....UNTIL....I decided to remove the drawers to make sure nothing creepy crawly was behind and THAT is when the source of the aroma was revealed! It was NOT pretty! It was NOT what I expected to see! What I found was a heaping remnant pile of old, stale, rotten, milk that creamed itself! It was now a yellow, creamy, solid mix glued to the bottom of my fridge. eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Gross. Yuck. PU. I can't believe this. You have got to be kidding me! Out comes the organic sprayer and a roll of towels. That is what free time today bought me! A half hour of spraying, wiping, spraying, wiping until the mixture released itself enough to be captured by the paper towel to then be tossed in a stinky garbage!

Tonight the mess is cleaned but the aroma still lingers quite pungently. I hope in the morning there is not one spec of a trace of this icky event left in my fridge!!!

(all photos are the personal property of Color of Inspiration)

Inspiring Books - to be continued...

Do you have any books that inspired you? Such a big question because we all have different ideas of what an inspiring book means to each of us. I have a list of books that have influenced the person I am, the person I want to become, the person I need to be, and the person that once was! I find tremendous comfort in books. I am drawn to books that I could learn something from. I like to read about other peoples tales and how they overcame their greatest challenge. What works for one person does not work for someone else. The more you read the more you realize this and start connecting the dots from book to book that you read.

I pick up a book depending on what is going on in my mind, in my soul, in my life. Books to me are like a best friend ready and waiting for a good discussion! I not only enjoy books but I have to say that I enjoy magazines and catalogs as well. What I like in these two forms of reading is home and garden and lots of photography! Yes, pictures are staged to perfection but it is nice to dream and to peek into the life of someone else. For years I have gotten Coastal Living, Architectural Digest, Martha Stewart, House Beautiful, Home & Garden, to name a few. Why so many? It is a cheap form of entertainment for me. It is cheaper to dish out $10 for a year's subscription than it is to go out. What can you do for $10 these days? Hmm...not much. Plus, reading a magazine takes way more time...and I don't have to pay for gas! Ha!

Back from the detour and onto the start of sharing some of my most inspiring books. The first book I would like to share is a book called Slow Love by Domenique Browning. It is not a romance novel but the story of a New York woman who lost her job and had to find direction again. Oh, so cliche, and sounds "typical" these days. But this book is written in a way that makes the reader feel that your best friend is talking to you. You connect with the author immediately! For any woman who is in need of direction, hearing someone elses woes, inspiration, and strength, this is a great read! I read this book at a time when I was completely devastated and deflated and had no idea how to handle things in my life. The author discusses her divorce, her kids, her affair, her homes, moving, unemployment, you name it she shares her honest feelings with the reader. No, I did not go through a divorce, but similarities in feelings regardless of the situation helps get some perspective on your own life. I highly recommend this book and continue to recommend this book to good friends who need a little hug in the form of a book!!!

(To Be Continued...)

Mixed

...and my mind goes again! Lots of ideas and things I want to do, yet, not enough time in the day to accomplish them! I read about other bloggers and how they manage their life that includes not one but several children, hobbies, crafts, personal business, phone calls, emails...you get the gist...how in the world do they do it? I have a favorite blogger whom I have been following for some time. She is an amazing person and it shows in her site. She is family focused, God centered, career focused, a mother, wife...again, you get the gist...she does it all! How? I have read her advice over and over and over again and multitasking is not a skill I have adapted well to. Hmmm, I wonder why? Well, I know why! I don't want to be a good multitasker because for me to multitask I know I won't be putting my best efforts in all the things I am doing! I've learned that when I multitask I get more things done but in the end I didn't like the overall outcome of all that was just completed!

Life is hard. Sometimes it is harder than you could ever imagine and more confusing than you can comprehend. Sometimes things make sense, other times they blindside you and you can't make heads or tails about it!! It has been one of those weeks. Excitement followed by frustration. Accomplishment followed by defeat. Completeness followed by undoneness! The older I get the more sensitive I've become to things. I've heard that the older you get the more desensitized you get to life, but, no, not here! 

One snippet into my week...made chops for dinner...poured the extra hot oil into a can to dispose of later...dropped the can of melted grease all over the kitchen, wall, carpet, and a variety of other items were in the path of trajectory! Cleaning up grease is like cleaning up a dozen of uncooked eggs! It is virtually impossible and requires an enormous amount of time and patience, both of which I did not behold today! This has been my week. Mind you this is one of the smaller travesties of the week, but nonetheless, it still happened and irked me!

Today...

TODAY has been one of those days and I have decided to take a break and watch a baseball game!

See you tomorrow with a new post!

Disposable?

Yes, our society is on the Reduce, Reuse, Recycle bandwagon and there is a tremendous push to use less and reuse what we can like it is a "new" trend. Don't get me wrong, I love this trend and welcome this philosophy as much as possible. This is an area where extremism is not a bad thing! Reducing our waste and carbon footprint will only help everyone and everything in the long run and take into consideration our future generations what is best for them and their families.

This is not the  kind of disposable I am talking about though. I am talking about the human aspect of disposable and how we relate to one another. It bothers me deeply how we have come to relate to one another. It seems that good honest friendships are really hard to find despite what friendships look like on the outside. I have heard people refer to their "best friend" and then when they are not present talk about them like they were the enemy. Kids one day are sharing and the next day that information has turned into gossip and feelings are hurt. I've seen people talk to one another respectfully and the next day say some of the cruelest things about that person. What does one do when they are in this position? Standing up for the underdog is not easy because if you've seen cruel in action you want to do all that is possible so you don't become the topic of those cruel comments.

I guess I don't really understand friendships. I do but I don't! People who you "thought" were good friends over a period of time end up not keeping the friendship alive. But friends who you had at one point and were distanced by time (or life!) end up calling you one day and it was like time never passed. How is this possible? Who cares how it is possible, it feels good when it happens! For some reason, friendships that developed as a kid and into the teen years are some of the most precious and honest friendships one can have. Maybe because life then hadn't influenced our minds to treat people any different than how we wanted to be treated. I don't know. What I do know is that over recent months I have had friends from years past get in touch and it has been very nice. Really nice. It was like time stood still and preserved the friendship as it once was. Conversation is easy! Questions aren't asked!

Adult friendships are different than childhood friendships and I can't get my mind around why. I have a  great friend whom I met during my freshman orientation for college and to this day, if we don't talk for a couple days "something" has to be wrong. It is a unique friendship in that we don't do a lot together but we talk almost daily...and I mean talk. We are talking "details"! If you ever want to eaves drop I can honestly say that in a half hour conversation 25 minutes of that conversation is spent on sharing details...clothes, time, this, that! It helps us paint the picture of what we experienced. This friend knows "everything" about me and I know "everything" about her...and how we relate to our lives and the people in it. We do not live in the same state but can tell by the tone of a message what is going on. Funny thing is...we both want details. What time did he call? How long? What was his reaction when? What did you wear? What did you say? Did you cry? How fast were you driving? ............details............details that really don't matter to most of the conversation but for some reason details are necessary for us! It is an honest adult friendship that developed when we were both 18 just starting college...we are now much older! (sheesh - how time flies)!

I don't have answers as to how to handle different friendships, am saddened when friendships don't turn out the way you want them to and am disappointed when what you thought existed was really just imagination. It takes two people to nurture, feed, and grow the friendship. TRUST is the first ingredient that must never be replaced. HONESTY is the second ingredient that also can never be replaced. IF these two pieces are always the main ingredients, you are bound to have a lifelong friendship with someone. If these two ingredients are replaced by one person, the friendship will likely dissolve. I have learned a lot about the kind of friendships I have, I want, and I need in my life. What I have learned is that when you are my friend I will show you respect and will always have trust and honesty at the forefront of our friendship. For those people who are my friends, thank you. For those people who will be my friends in the future, I can't want to meet you.

No matter what if you are not willing to be a friend to someone all the time, don't waste your time in developing the friendship. Disposing someone like the relationship didn't matter is hurtful, cruel, and only shows a lack of character and integrity in you.

(photos are personal property of color of inspiration)

To Know When

This morning when I checked my email I had gotten the daily musings from a blogger whose page I have frequented. I liked what she had posted in times past and I sensed she was an honest blogger. I took a liking to her even before I knew about her (really). Today was different. She posted an honest post (I'm not surprised) about how difficult it is to be a blogger in the blogging community. She was celebrating her 3rd blogging anniversary and went out on a limb to share her opinion about  the last three years. I totally believe her when she said it has not been easy and that obsessions can overcome the purpose of creating a blog. I get it! I am a newbie, new to blogging, new to posting my thoughts, ideas, opinions, emotions out for the world to see. Surprising because I am a highly guarded and private person. I've been reading blogs for a long time and decided one day that I would give it a try. I had a name for myself and wanted to learn something new so off I went. I did a little reading, reviewing, googling, scanning and *click* there I was for the world to see. I am extremely tentative about what I say and who my audience is but I feel a connection to those whom I have read about and those who have written to me.

To know when is never known, really. No one can tell you when it is time to get married, start a family, quit a job, start something new, end a relationship, invest in your dreams and ideas, stop thinking and start doing, when to let go and when to hold on...no one knows, not even you. So how does one go about knowing when? This is something I think about frequently. I do because I have a lot of interest in the world and for the most part the people in it. To know when seems more difficult as an adult. We have baggage. Some baggage is good, some not, but regardless, as adults we have baggage. That baggage comes into play whether we want it to or not at times of figuring out to know when. Some of us talk out our issues, some of us make lists, and some of us reflect quietly until...until we finally get tired of talking, listing, and thinking that we break the barrier and just do.

To know when comes much easier to some than others. As kids they don't take the time to review their decisions and just go full speed ahead. There is some merit to that because it makes them doers, achievers. If only we can step back from adulthood into kid hood again and go about life in that mindset. We don't because we have grand responsibilities like bills, families, student loans, homes, cars etc. These things I call "life" get in the way. These things hold us back from knowing when.

I am on my own journey To Know When...